Singles and parents of singles on the site are now able to recommend Shadchanim that they were happy to work with.
After logging onto the site, choose the last link: "Browse and Recommend a partial list of Shadchanim".
On that page on the left side by every Shadchan you will see a number indicating the amount of singles that have recommended that Shadchan or no number if the amount is 0. To the right of that column is a checkbox. Check the box beside any Shadchan you wish to recommend.
This process will help singles know which Shadchanim are most recommended, when choosing which Shadchan to contact.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Chanuka Chagiga for Single Girls 23+
Meetmymatch.org is presenting a Chanuka Chagiga this Tuesday, December 15th for single girls 23+ in Crown Heights.
Time: 8:30 PM
Location: 820 Eastern Pkwy Bell #3
To RSVP or for more info: Rochie rochie@meetmymatch.org or Chaya chayalight1234@gmail.com
Time: 8:30 PM
Location: 820 Eastern Pkwy Bell #3
To RSVP or for more info: Rochie rochie@meetmymatch.org or Chaya chayalight1234@gmail.com
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
How You Feel? By Rabbi Kass
Dear Dater,
Dating is complicated and likely stressful. Especially when you consider all the details you must gather when evaluating your potential mate. Typically, after each date "details" are needed to present to your parents and the Shadchan. For example: Where does she want to live, is he/she in debt, or how does he plan to earn a living, etc.
This information is essential. However, the pressure to get huge amounts of “details about your date” can lead to stress and prevent you from being your true “best self” during the date.
Know that gathering details is insufficient. You need to also acquire information about how “you feel” when with this person to make the all important decision—to marry him or her, or not.
A prerequisite for acquiring this “emotional information (how you feel)” is that you are relaxed when you are with your date. To do this you must limit the amount of details and balance it with “just being present.” When relaxed, you can get a feeling about what it is really like when together. And isn’t that what being married all about, being together?
You gather this “emotional data” during the moments of interaction between yourself and your date. During these interactions you observe key bits of information about how you feel, based on how you are treated.
Your awareness of how you feel, how you are treated, and how together you interact provides “emotional information” and becomes a critical part of the “data collection.” Feelings determine for most married individuals what life is like as a couple. Thus, how you feel when you are on your date is of paramount importance.
Consider during and after your date:
1. When I talk does he/she interrupt? If yes, you will feel unimportant.
2. Does he/she seem genuinely interested in what I have to say, or does he/she just go on and on talking about himself/herself? If he/she self-promotes, you will feel marginalized and discarded.
3. If you are a boy, does your date seem genuinely concerned with knowing what you want? If no, when married you could feel unloved.
4. If you are a girl, does your date seem to want to make sure you are comfortable and cared for during the time you are together? If no, when married you could feel unloved.
5. Is your date organized? Is he/she ready on time, put together in a clean and fishable way, and willingly follows through with arranged plans? If no, when married you may be irritated and find it hard to be attracted to your partner.
6. How do you feel when spending time together? Does the time go quickly or does it drag-out? If it “drags,” it may be a sign that the “chemistry” is lacking.
Ask yourself: If he or she was the same gender as me and was in one of my classes at school, would I enjoy being with him or her? Would I look forward to speaking on the phone at night? Would I enjoy going on a trip with him or her? The answer to these and similar questions provide important information about what it would be like being married to him or her—whether for a day, a week, a year or a lifetime.
Marriage should be fun and enjoyable. This is necessary for bonding to take place leading to an industrial strength commitment needed for the long road of life.
Complexities and stresses are a natural part of dating. However, they can be reduced when you recognize the value of just 'hanging' with your future partner and then evaluating how you feel/felt. Emotional information, “how you feel”, needs to be an essential part of the decision making process.
Hatzlacha Raba,
Rabbi Kass
Rabbi Avrohom Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. He is a member of Ontario College of Social Workers, the Ontario and American Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists. Currently Rabbi Kass operates a successful private practice in personal, couple, and family therapy and can be reached at abe@WisdomScientific.com.
Dating is complicated and likely stressful. Especially when you consider all the details you must gather when evaluating your potential mate. Typically, after each date "details" are needed to present to your parents and the Shadchan. For example: Where does she want to live, is he/she in debt, or how does he plan to earn a living, etc.
This information is essential. However, the pressure to get huge amounts of “details about your date” can lead to stress and prevent you from being your true “best self” during the date.
Know that gathering details is insufficient. You need to also acquire information about how “you feel” when with this person to make the all important decision—to marry him or her, or not.
A prerequisite for acquiring this “emotional information (how you feel)” is that you are relaxed when you are with your date. To do this you must limit the amount of details and balance it with “just being present.” When relaxed, you can get a feeling about what it is really like when together. And isn’t that what being married all about, being together?
You gather this “emotional data” during the moments of interaction between yourself and your date. During these interactions you observe key bits of information about how you feel, based on how you are treated.
Your awareness of how you feel, how you are treated, and how together you interact provides “emotional information” and becomes a critical part of the “data collection.” Feelings determine for most married individuals what life is like as a couple. Thus, how you feel when you are on your date is of paramount importance.
Consider during and after your date:
1. When I talk does he/she interrupt? If yes, you will feel unimportant.
2. Does he/she seem genuinely interested in what I have to say, or does he/she just go on and on talking about himself/herself? If he/she self-promotes, you will feel marginalized and discarded.
3. If you are a boy, does your date seem genuinely concerned with knowing what you want? If no, when married you could feel unloved.
4. If you are a girl, does your date seem to want to make sure you are comfortable and cared for during the time you are together? If no, when married you could feel unloved.
5. Is your date organized? Is he/she ready on time, put together in a clean and fishable way, and willingly follows through with arranged plans? If no, when married you may be irritated and find it hard to be attracted to your partner.
6. How do you feel when spending time together? Does the time go quickly or does it drag-out? If it “drags,” it may be a sign that the “chemistry” is lacking.
Ask yourself: If he or she was the same gender as me and was in one of my classes at school, would I enjoy being with him or her? Would I look forward to speaking on the phone at night? Would I enjoy going on a trip with him or her? The answer to these and similar questions provide important information about what it would be like being married to him or her—whether for a day, a week, a year or a lifetime.
Marriage should be fun and enjoyable. This is necessary for bonding to take place leading to an industrial strength commitment needed for the long road of life.
Complexities and stresses are a natural part of dating. However, they can be reduced when you recognize the value of just 'hanging' with your future partner and then evaluating how you feel/felt. Emotional information, “how you feel”, needs to be an essential part of the decision making process.
Hatzlacha Raba,
Rabbi Kass
Rabbi Avrohom Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. He is a member of Ontario College of Social Workers, the Ontario and American Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists. Currently Rabbi Kass operates a successful private practice in personal, couple, and family therapy and can be reached at abe@WisdomScientific.com.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Double Mazal Tov!
A double Mazal Tov goes to Sara Shollar, who successfully arranged two shidduchim in only two weeks for Chabadmatch singles!!
New Shadchan from London
We are pleased to welcome Yael Levy as a new Shadchan on the site.
Here is her intro:
"My name is Yael Levy (nee Slutzkin) originally from JHB South Africa, now Living in London. My husband and I are very involved in the Chabad House and young community of North West London. I got involved in Shidduchim at first because of friends and children of friends. I now work with a wide range of singles, young; older; baal teshuva; ffb's and non chabad / chabad friendly. I am alsocurrently a shadchan on sawyouatsinai.com."
Welcome to the site, we wish you success!
Here is her intro:
"My name is Yael Levy (nee Slutzkin) originally from JHB South Africa, now Living in London. My husband and I are very involved in the Chabad House and young community of North West London. I got involved in Shidduchim at first because of friends and children of friends. I now work with a wide range of singles, young; older; baal teshuva; ffb's and non chabad / chabad friendly. I am alsocurrently a shadchan on sawyouatsinai.com."
Welcome to the site, we wish you success!
Consider who you are talking to.
Article Quoted from http://shidduchim101.blogspot.com:
When doing research, consider who you are talking to.
If you are talking to a close friend of yours who also knows the other side, then you are on more even ground, as you know what their standards are and how they judge, and you can put the answers in a proper prospective.
If you do not know the person you are calling for information, be careful what weight you put on the answers. If something you hear is raising a flag, ask specific questions to clarify what you are hearing, you may have misunderstood or the person at the other end meant something different. It is much easier to clarify things right away, rather that later. Also, do not automatically say no. Do further research on that one point until you are very sure that the facts are true, and it is something undesirable to you.
Some other possible questions: What is their connection to the Rebbe? What part does the Rebbe play in their lives? (this is not a “meshichist” or “anti” question). Are the parents hands on parents or more laissez faire. Was there sholom bayis in their home? Do they have a lot of emotional baggage? Is she open-minded? ( what does open minded mean to you?) Is the family open-minded? Are they straightforward and honest, or is there a hidden agenda, and you don’t really know their intentions? Are they open to change, or do they dread it? How do they act with strangers: are they respectful with all kinds of people, janitors, cleaning ladies, shopkeepers, kids, secretaries yidden and goyim etc.? Are they a ‘good listener’? Are they always thinking of the next project, or do they take time to really give you their whole attention? Do they set attainable goals or just castles in the sky? Do they go with the flow, or do they know where they are going? Do they have a mashpia? Do they follow advice or prefer their own counsel? What is their conversation like? Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
Centuries ago, Machiavelli (Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli born in 1469 and diplomat and adviser to the Medici family, known for his work “The Prince” and Discourses on Livy) noted in “The Prince”: “The great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by things that seem, than by those that are.” Or as Rabbi Yehudah HaNossi (the prince) used to say: “Al tistakel b’kankan elah b’ma sheyeysh bo.” Don’t look at the flask, but at its contents.
When doing research, consider who you are talking to.
If you are talking to a close friend of yours who also knows the other side, then you are on more even ground, as you know what their standards are and how they judge, and you can put the answers in a proper prospective.
If you do not know the person you are calling for information, be careful what weight you put on the answers. If something you hear is raising a flag, ask specific questions to clarify what you are hearing, you may have misunderstood or the person at the other end meant something different. It is much easier to clarify things right away, rather that later. Also, do not automatically say no. Do further research on that one point until you are very sure that the facts are true, and it is something undesirable to you.
Some other possible questions: What is their connection to the Rebbe? What part does the Rebbe play in their lives? (this is not a “meshichist” or “anti” question). Are the parents hands on parents or more laissez faire. Was there sholom bayis in their home? Do they have a lot of emotional baggage? Is she open-minded? ( what does open minded mean to you?) Is the family open-minded? Are they straightforward and honest, or is there a hidden agenda, and you don’t really know their intentions? Are they open to change, or do they dread it? How do they act with strangers: are they respectful with all kinds of people, janitors, cleaning ladies, shopkeepers, kids, secretaries yidden and goyim etc.? Are they a ‘good listener’? Are they always thinking of the next project, or do they take time to really give you their whole attention? Do they set attainable goals or just castles in the sky? Do they go with the flow, or do they know where they are going? Do they have a mashpia? Do they follow advice or prefer their own counsel? What is their conversation like? Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
Centuries ago, Machiavelli (Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli born in 1469 and diplomat and adviser to the Medici family, known for his work “The Prince” and Discourses on Livy) noted in “The Prince”: “The great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by things that seem, than by those that are.” Or as Rabbi Yehudah HaNossi (the prince) used to say: “Al tistakel b’kankan elah b’ma sheyeysh bo.” Don’t look at the flask, but at its contents.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Lubavitch.com feature on Chabadmatch
ChabadMatch.com boasts 800 active members and 23 weddings in about 24 months.
Creators, Ester and Moshe Raichman realized that many of their single friends weren't getting dates. She from Sao Paolo and he from Houston, they live in Jerusalem and understand the complications of a global dating scene.
By Dvora Lakein, lubavitch.com
When Fiddler on the Roof made its 1964 debut under the bright white lights of Broadway, theater-goers and reviewers hailed it as a period piece with rich nostalgic value, but little relevance to contemporary society.
Much has changed since the Tony-award winning musical first opened its doors, and today, many people are looking at one particular aspect of shtetl life with new interest.
Yenta is getting a face-lift.
With grumbles about a dating crisis reverberating throughout the various segments of normative Judaism, singles and parents are turning to matchmakers with a vengeance. And they are responding with an increasingly high-tech presence reflecting changing social needs.
ChabadMatch.com, a grassroots matchmaking site, boasts 800 active Chabad members and 23 weddings in about 24 months—since the site was launched. Creators, Ester and Moshe Raichman realized that many of their single friends were having a hard time getting dates. The couple, she is from Sao Paolo and he hails from Houston, lives in Jerusalem and understands the complications of a global dating scene.
"Unlike many other religious communities,” explains Raichman during a matchmaking workshop at the International Conference of Shluchos, “the Chabad community is spread out over six continents. Previously, matchmakers were limited to singles that they knew,” clearly limiting their base. “Now, the site’s 50 matchmakers can match singles all over the world, based on many different variables.” Raichman stresses that ChabadMatch offers, “the same old recipe of a shadchan, parent, and single, with a new twist: the internet.”
Tzirel Frankel, a matchmaker on the site, made her first match by accident. Since then, the Los Angeles mother who has married off three of her own children has paired up many happy couples. Beyond the initial introduction, Frankel “works as a counselor, mentor, and guide. When I am setting up a couple, I feel like they are my own kids.”
Frankel believes that the site provides a necessary service to so many in the broader Chabad community. “There are many families where the parents or the singles themselves have recently become religious,” she explains, and are new to the approach and focus that dating takes in an observant environment.“
A lot of people were frustrated that there was no easy, systemized approach to dating,” says Illana Bergovoy, cofounder of the Chicago Shidduch Group. “We had hit a bottleneck.”
The Chicago Shidduch Group operates in conjunction with partner organizations in 25 cities around the world. Participating mothers, fathers, and matchmakers apply a two pronged approach to making matches. Members share profiles on international teleconferences and participate in weekly gatherings of prayer, charity, and study. “We are friends helping friends. I pray for my friends’ children and they in turn pray for mine,” explains Bergovoy. The combination of practical networking and spiritual offerings seems to be working. At least 40 couples have met and married through the group’s efforts.
Zack and Rachel are one such couple. Within minutes after presenting her daughter Rachel’s profile on a June teleconference, Dvora received a message that a matchmaker in Montreal had the perfect match. A flood of phone calls and emails crisscrossed the country before the two 20-somethings met. Engaged less than three months later, they are now planning their wedding.
The resurgence of the modern matchmaker is not only a Jewish phenomenon. Until recently adults were delaying serious commitment, hoping first to win that elusive promotion. But with the current economic situation, many have turned their search away from making partner to looking for a life partner. A recent New York Times article highlighting this trend reasoned that misfortune creates a need for comfort and company. Matchmaking sites and local matchmakers have seen a huge spike in business: the newly unemployed have more time to devote to their personal lives. People feeling the financial crunch are finding that arranged dates are also less expensive than costly blind dates.
Though our global community is no Anatevka, more than 100 years later it’s clear Yenta was on to something
Creators, Ester and Moshe Raichman realized that many of their single friends weren't getting dates. She from Sao Paolo and he from Houston, they live in Jerusalem and understand the complications of a global dating scene.
By Dvora Lakein, lubavitch.com
When Fiddler on the Roof made its 1964 debut under the bright white lights of Broadway, theater-goers and reviewers hailed it as a period piece with rich nostalgic value, but little relevance to contemporary society.
Much has changed since the Tony-award winning musical first opened its doors, and today, many people are looking at one particular aspect of shtetl life with new interest.
Yenta is getting a face-lift.
With grumbles about a dating crisis reverberating throughout the various segments of normative Judaism, singles and parents are turning to matchmakers with a vengeance. And they are responding with an increasingly high-tech presence reflecting changing social needs.
ChabadMatch.com, a grassroots matchmaking site, boasts 800 active Chabad members and 23 weddings in about 24 months—since the site was launched. Creators, Ester and Moshe Raichman realized that many of their single friends were having a hard time getting dates. The couple, she is from Sao Paolo and he hails from Houston, lives in Jerusalem and understands the complications of a global dating scene.
"Unlike many other religious communities,” explains Raichman during a matchmaking workshop at the International Conference of Shluchos, “the Chabad community is spread out over six continents. Previously, matchmakers were limited to singles that they knew,” clearly limiting their base. “Now, the site’s 50 matchmakers can match singles all over the world, based on many different variables.” Raichman stresses that ChabadMatch offers, “the same old recipe of a shadchan, parent, and single, with a new twist: the internet.”
Tzirel Frankel, a matchmaker on the site, made her first match by accident. Since then, the Los Angeles mother who has married off three of her own children has paired up many happy couples. Beyond the initial introduction, Frankel “works as a counselor, mentor, and guide. When I am setting up a couple, I feel like they are my own kids.”
Frankel believes that the site provides a necessary service to so many in the broader Chabad community. “There are many families where the parents or the singles themselves have recently become religious,” she explains, and are new to the approach and focus that dating takes in an observant environment.“
A lot of people were frustrated that there was no easy, systemized approach to dating,” says Illana Bergovoy, cofounder of the Chicago Shidduch Group. “We had hit a bottleneck.”
The Chicago Shidduch Group operates in conjunction with partner organizations in 25 cities around the world. Participating mothers, fathers, and matchmakers apply a two pronged approach to making matches. Members share profiles on international teleconferences and participate in weekly gatherings of prayer, charity, and study. “We are friends helping friends. I pray for my friends’ children and they in turn pray for mine,” explains Bergovoy. The combination of practical networking and spiritual offerings seems to be working. At least 40 couples have met and married through the group’s efforts.
Zack and Rachel are one such couple. Within minutes after presenting her daughter Rachel’s profile on a June teleconference, Dvora received a message that a matchmaker in Montreal had the perfect match. A flood of phone calls and emails crisscrossed the country before the two 20-somethings met. Engaged less than three months later, they are now planning their wedding.
The resurgence of the modern matchmaker is not only a Jewish phenomenon. Until recently adults were delaying serious commitment, hoping first to win that elusive promotion. But with the current economic situation, many have turned their search away from making partner to looking for a life partner. A recent New York Times article highlighting this trend reasoned that misfortune creates a need for comfort and company. Matchmaking sites and local matchmakers have seen a huge spike in business: the newly unemployed have more time to devote to their personal lives. People feeling the financial crunch are finding that arranged dates are also less expensive than costly blind dates.
Though our global community is no Anatevka, more than 100 years later it’s clear Yenta was on to something
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
