ChabadMatch Blog

Keyword Search for Shadchanim

2012-02-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

Shadchanim can now filter through profiles using the keyword search option. For example, if a Shadchan is looking for bochurim who learned in Mayanot, they can type Mayanot and see the 26 results in the database. We hope this makes it easier to filter through profiles.

Engagement #46!!!

2011-12-29T01:09:00.000-08:00

Mazal Tov to Daniel Hayman for setting up engagement 46! We are only 4 engagements away from setting up 100 singles!

He describes it below: "I asked the Kallah to send me a list of profiles that she was interested in from the site. She asked for more information on the Chosson. Shortly thereafter they went out and got engaged!"

Shidduch #45!

2011-12-13T01:23:00.000-08:00

Mazal Tov to Yehudis Abramowitz of Monsey for setting up Chabadmatch's 45th Shidduch!

She writes: "A young woman was working with me for over a year. A number of suggestions were researched, but none of them resulted in a meeting. Finally a Chabadmatch suggestion seemed to be more suitable than the others. But it was an 'international' shidduch and the young man's passport had expired! While the Passport Agency did its work, the couple spoke on the phone and finally met at a location between the two cities. The rest is history!"

Under Construction! New Main Page

2011-09-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

We have just launched the updated new main page. The rest of the website will slowly be updated. Hope you like the new look!

New Engagement!

2011-09-08T05:08:00.000-07:00

Mazal Tov to Shadchan Miriam Lipchik

She writes: "A girl I was working with saw the profile on Chabadmatch that caught her attention and sent it to me. I contacted the boy who had just signed up and was not available at the time. I called him back two months later, he was ready, flew to the East Coast, dated, and a match was made in heaven and earth! They are perfect for each other!"

New Shidduch!

2011-08-19T06:25:00.000-07:00

Mazal tov to Mrs. Leah Lipszyc, Shlucha to Crimea, Ukraine on a recent shidduch. It's amazing how with the help of Chabadmatch one can be on one side of the world and setup singles on the other side of the world. She was looking for profiles on the site for a friend of a friend, a daughter of Shluchim in Eretz Yisroel. She found an American studying in Israel, set them up, and they shortly thereafter became engaged in Israel.

New Feature for Singles

2011-08-15T02:45:00.000-07:00

We have implemented a new feature on the site for singles that allows singles to choose which Shadchanim can access their profile. We received requests from singles for this, and decided to implement it. We strongly encourage singles to allow all Shadchanim to have access to their profile, as one never knows which Shadchan can present a match, but if for whatever reason you prefer to exclude certain Shadchanim, you can do so by editing your profile and changing the option.

Happy 15 of Av to All!

Anonymous Donors offers $250 per Shidduch for Shadchanim on Chabadmatch!

2011-02-14T01:30:00.000-08:00

An anonymous donor has just offered $250 per Shidduch for every Shadchan who makes a Shidduch using Chabadmatch.com!! The offer is for the next 8 site Shidduchim and the objective is to encourage Shadchanim to be more proactive using the site. We look forward to many new successes!!

Shidduch #40

2011-01-09T12:20:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Moshe Raitman setup Shidduch #40 for Chabadmatch, here is what he writes:

"Boruch Hashem in the past 2 weeks alone I have been zocheh to be involved in some capacity in 4 Shidduchim. The most recent was Rosh Chodesh Shevat between a bochur and girl who were listed on Chabadmatch. Both had approached me through Chabadmatch and BH we now have reason to celebrate. For anyone reading these success stories and wondering if they should post their profiles online, there is no doubt that by being proactive and allowing others including Shadchanim and singles to view one's profile, the chance of finding one's zivug is increased tremendously."

3rd Chabadmatch Shidduch in 3 Weeks!

2010-11-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

Chabadmatch just celebrated the 3rd Shidduch in 3 weeks, certainly a first! 78 singles have now got engaged with help from the site. Of the last 8 Shidduchim, 8 different Shadchanim have been involved, which explains the advantage of signing up on Chabadmatch. With one profile, singles benefit from help from a large network of Shadchanim based all over the world, and you never know which one will be able to help you out.

The most recent Shidduch went through Shadchan Daniel Hayman. He encouraged the Chosson to sign up, and upon signing up he was able to search through limited profiles. The limited profiles do not show general information about the single without giving the identity, excluding name, photo, city, references, etc. Daniel shared the profiles and references to both sides, and they went out in NY until they got engaged.

New Feature for Shadchanim

2010-11-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

A single recently pointed out to us that Shadchanim have no way of knowing what type of access singles have given to other parent/singles.

The three choices are:

1) No access
2) Limited Access: with no information that can give away the identity of the single such as name, references, and city.
3) Access: Including the single's name, city, and references but no photo or contact info.

We have modified the search format for Shadchanim so that a number appears on the far right column for every single.

0 will indicate no access to singles.
1 will indicate limited access.
2 will indicate Access.

Two Recent Shidduchim!

2010-11-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

We are proud to announce two recent Shidduchim on the site:

1) Channa Meyer writes: "This was a Shidduch created virtually! The bochur asked for help online, mentioning he is on Chabadmatch where I am a Shadchan. I signed on, searched, and found a girl that fit what he was looking for. I emailed her mother, and we set the whole thing up by email (and some references phone calls made by each party), it couldn't have been easier!"

2) Dr. Elka Pinson write: "I was contacted by the Chosson via email. A month later the Kallah submitted her profile on the site, it caught my eye, and I sent it to him. They had extensive phone conversations, he flew to meet her, and then she flew to meet him, and they shortly thereafter became engaged."

36th Engagement!

2010-10-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

Shadchan: Rabbi Avtzon

Tishrei 5771 / September 2010

The Shadchan was working with the Kallah for some time. When the Chosson signed up, Rabbi Avtzon saw that the profile was a potential match and immediately worked on setting them up.

New Shidduch in Pittsburgh!

2010-08-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

Mazal Tov to Shadchan Fraida Estrin and the Chosson/Kalla from the East Coast.

Here is how Fraida describes the shidduch: I've know the Kallah for a while as she lives and works in Pittsburgh.

One day, about a month ago, a Chabadmatch email popped into my mailbox. Frankly, I don't always read them, as I am very busy with lots of things. For some reason, I opened the file and read the description, I thought that it sounded like a possibility for the Kallah.

I called the Kallah and gave her a brief summary before checking him out. When she gave me the go-ahead, I made some calls. At the same time I emailed the Choson with a brief description and his response was interesting. He said that a couple of months ago, he had seen her profile on another dating site, and by the time he went back to pursue it, the profile had been removed. He assumed that she was already engaged.

He came to Pittsburgh the following week, and stayed at our house. The rest is history.

The Pittsburgh community is helping with the Chasana, if anyone is able to help contribute, please contact Fraida Estrin.

Mazal Tov #33!

2010-06-01T03:08:00.000-07:00

We would like to wish a hearty Mazal Tov to Gitty Fogel and the Choson and Kallah on a recent Shidduch.

The Kallah signed up on Chabadmatch and introduced herself to Mrs. Fogel. After working together for about a year, a friend of Mrs. Fogel asker her if she had any ideas for her son. Mrs. Fogel immediately thought of the Kallah and the Shidduch was a success.

Yet another Shidduch through singles or parents being proactive by contacting Shadchanim or looking through the limited profiles they have access to.

New Shidduch!

2010-05-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

Maza Tov to Shadchan Daniel Hayman and the Choson + Kallah on a recent international shidduch. The shidduch started when the mother of the Kallah saw a profile she was interested in and got in touch with Daniel. Parents of singles being proactive in searching for interesting profiles has proven the best way to take advantage of the site.

Exhibiting at the Resource Fair of the Kinnus Hashluchos

2010-01-26T20:57:00.000-08:00

We will IYH be exhibiting at the Resource Fair of the Kinus HaShluchos on Motzai Shabbos, February 6th, from 8PM to 1AM at Oholei Menachem, 667 Eastern Parkway. We look forward to seeing you there!

Feature this week in Living Jewish

2010-01-24T06:22:00.000-08:00

Chabadmatch was featured this week in Living Jewish, an english Chabad newsletter distributed throughout Israel. Here is the link:

http://livingjewish.net/human-interest/chabadmatch-com/

Feedback

2010-01-24T05:16:00.000-08:00

Always nice to get feedback, here is one email this week:

Dear Chabadmatch,

Thank you for doing such a great job. I have been meaning to write you and say that you are tackling this Shidduch crisis one profile at a time, bringing hope to the singles out there who feel that they have been forgotten. I have heard so many people say that someone called them becasue their profile was on Chabadmatch. Yeshar Koach!

A Parent

New Feature for Shadchanim

2010-01-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

Profiles will now display the last login date for the single. This will help Shadchanim know if a single has recently logged in and updated their profile or done a search. Thank you Bracha Demarcur for the suggestion. Should we add this feature to show the last login for Shadchanim as well?

Mazal Tov #30!!!

2010-01-15T02:37:00.001-08:00

Mazal Tov to Sara Shollar on setting up Chabadmatch's 30th engagement!

Sara describes: "A request from an old and dear friend for help in finding a shidduch for her daughter prompted a visit to my favorite site where a name, with the help of the filters, quickly popped up. The calls were made, the meetings took place, and the engagement was celebrated."

We wish a besha'a tova to the choson and kallah.

Chabadmatch.com

Recommending Shadchanim

2009-12-13T14:09:00.001-08:00

Singles and parents of singles on the site are now able to recommend Shadchanim that they were happy to work with.

After logging onto the site, choose the last link: "Browse and Recommend a partial list of Shadchanim".

On that page on the left side by every Shadchan you will see a number indicating the amount of singles that have recommended that Shadchan or no number if the amount is 0. To the right of that column is a checkbox. Check the box beside any Shadchan you wish to recommend.

This process will help singles know which Shadchanim are most recommended, when choosing which Shadchan to contact.

Chanuka Chagiga for Single Girls 23+

2009-12-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

Meetmymatch.org is presenting a Chanuka Chagiga this Tuesday, December 15th for single girls 23+ in Crown Heights.

Time: 8:30 PM
Location: 820 Eastern Pkwy Bell #3

To RSVP or for more info: Rochie rochie@meetmymatch.org or Chaya chayalight1234@gmail.com

How You Feel? By Rabbi Kass

2009-12-02T01:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Dater,

Dating is complicated and likely stressful. Especially when you consider all the details you must gather when evaluating your potential mate. Typically, after each date "details" are needed to present to your parents and the Shadchan. For example: Where does she want to live, is he/she in debt, or how does he plan to earn a living, etc.

This information is essential. However, the pressure to get huge amounts of “details about your date” can lead to stress and prevent you from being your true “best self” during the date.

Know that gathering details is insufficient. You need to also acquire information about how “you feel” when with this person to make the all important decision—to marry him or her, or not.

A prerequisite for acquiring this “emotional information (how you feel)” is that you are relaxed when you are with your date. To do this you must limit the amount of details and balance it with “just being present.” When relaxed, you can get a feeling about what it is really like when together. And isn’t that what being married all about, being together?

You gather this “emotional data” during the moments of interaction between yourself and your date. During these interactions you observe key bits of information about how you feel, based on how you are treated.

Your awareness of how you feel, how you are treated, and how together you interact provides “emotional information” and becomes a critical part of the “data collection.” Feelings determine for most married individuals what life is like as a couple. Thus, how you feel when you are on your date is of paramount importance.

Consider during and after your date:
1. When I talk does he/she interrupt? If yes, you will feel unimportant.
2. Does he/she seem genuinely interested in what I have to say, or does he/she just go on and on talking about himself/herself? If he/she self-promotes, you will feel marginalized and discarded.
3. If you are a boy, does your date seem genuinely concerned with knowing what you want? If no, when married you could feel unloved.
4. If you are a girl, does your date seem to want to make sure you are comfortable and cared for during the time you are together? If no, when married you could feel unloved.
5. Is your date organized? Is he/she ready on time, put together in a clean and fishable way, and willingly follows through with arranged plans? If no, when married you may be irritated and find it hard to be attracted to your partner.
6. How do you feel when spending time together? Does the time go quickly or does it drag-out? If it “drags,” it may be a sign that the “chemistry” is lacking.

Ask yourself: If he or she was the same gender as me and was in one of my classes at school, would I enjoy being with him or her? Would I look forward to speaking on the phone at night? Would I enjoy going on a trip with him or her? The answer to these and similar questions provide important information about what it would be like being married to him or her—whether for a day, a week, a year or a lifetime.

Marriage should be fun and enjoyable. This is necessary for bonding to take place leading to an industrial strength commitment needed for the long road of life.

Complexities and stresses are a natural part of dating. However, they can be reduced when you recognize the value of just 'hanging' with your future partner and then evaluating how you feel/felt. Emotional information, “how you feel”, needs to be an essential part of the decision making process.

Hatzlacha Raba,
Rabbi Kass

Rabbi Avrohom Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. He is a member of Ontario College of Social Workers, the Ontario and American Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists. Currently Rabbi Kass operates a successful private practice in personal, couple, and family therapy and can be reached at abe@WisdomScientific.com.

Double Mazal Tov!

2009-11-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

A double Mazal Tov goes to Sara Shollar, who successfully arranged two shidduchim in only two weeks for Chabadmatch singles!!

New Shadchan from London

2009-11-14T10:59:00.001-08:00

We are pleased to welcome Yael Levy as a new Shadchan on the site.

Here is her intro:

"My name is Yael Levy (nee Slutzkin) originally from JHB South Africa, now Living in London. My husband and I are very involved in the Chabad House and young community of North West London. I got involved in Shidduchim at first because of friends and children of friends. I now work with a wide range of singles, young; older; baal teshuva; ffb's and non chabad / chabad friendly. I am alsocurrently a shadchan on sawyouatsinai.com."

Welcome to the site, we wish you success!

Consider who you are talking to.

2009-11-14T10:51:00.000-08:00

Article Quoted from http://shidduchim101.blogspot.com:

When doing research, consider who you are talking to.

If you are talking to a close friend of yours who also knows the other side, then you are on more even ground, as you know what their standards are and how they judge, and you can put the answers in a proper prospective.

If you do not know the person you are calling for information, be careful what weight you put on the answers. If something you hear is raising a flag, ask specific questions to clarify what you are hearing, you may have misunderstood or the person at the other end meant something different. It is much easier to clarify things right away, rather that later. Also, do not automatically say no. Do further research on that one point until you are very sure that the facts are true, and it is something undesirable to you.

Some other possible questions: What is their connection to the Rebbe? What part does the Rebbe play in their lives? (this is not a “meshichist” or “anti” question). Are the parents hands on parents or more laissez faire. Was there sholom bayis in their home? Do they have a lot of emotional baggage? Is she open-minded? ( what does open minded mean to you?) Is the family open-minded? Are they straightforward and honest, or is there a hidden agenda, and you don’t really know their intentions? Are they open to change, or do they dread it? How do they act with strangers: are they respectful with all kinds of people, janitors, cleaning ladies, shopkeepers, kids, secretaries yidden and goyim etc.? Are they a ‘good listener’? Are they always thinking of the next project, or do they take time to really give you their whole attention? Do they set attainable goals or just castles in the sky? Do they go with the flow, or do they know where they are going? Do they have a mashpia? Do they follow advice or prefer their own counsel? What is their conversation like? Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Centuries ago, Machiavelli (Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli born in 1469 and diplomat and adviser to the Medici family, known for his work “The Prince” and Discourses on Livy) noted in “The Prince”: “The great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by things that seem, than by those that are.” Or as Rabbi Yehudah HaNossi (the prince) used to say: “Al tistakel b’kankan elah b’ma sheyeysh bo.” Don’t look at the flask, but at its contents.

Lubavitch.com feature on Chabadmatch

2009-11-08T03:36:00.000-08:00

ChabadMatch.com boasts 800 active members and 23 weddings in about 24 months.

Creators, Ester and Moshe Raichman realized that many of their single friends weren't getting dates. She from Sao Paolo and he from Houston, they live in Jerusalem and understand the complications of a global dating scene.

By Dvora Lakein, lubavitch.com

When Fiddler on the Roof made its 1964 debut under the bright white lights of Broadway, theater-goers and reviewers hailed it as a period piece with rich nostalgic value, but little relevance to contemporary society.

Much has changed since the Tony-award winning musical first opened its doors, and today, many people are looking at one particular aspect of shtetl life with new interest.

Yenta is getting a face-lift.

With grumbles about a dating crisis reverberating throughout the various segments of normative Judaism, singles and parents are turning to matchmakers with a vengeance. And they are responding with an increasingly high-tech presence reflecting changing social needs.

ChabadMatch.com, a grassroots matchmaking site, boasts 800 active Chabad members and 23 weddings in about 24 months—since the site was launched. Creators, Ester and Moshe Raichman realized that many of their single friends were having a hard time getting dates. The couple, she is from Sao Paolo and he hails from Houston, lives in Jerusalem and understands the complications of a global dating scene.

"Unlike many other religious communities,” explains Raichman during a matchmaking workshop at the International Conference of Shluchos, “the Chabad community is spread out over six continents. Previously, matchmakers were limited to singles that they knew,” clearly limiting their base. “Now, the site’s 50 matchmakers can match singles all over the world, based on many different variables.” Raichman stresses that ChabadMatch offers, “the same old recipe of a shadchan, parent, and single, with a new twist: the internet.”

Tzirel Frankel, a matchmaker on the site, made her first match by accident. Since then, the Los Angeles mother who has married off three of her own children has paired up many happy couples. Beyond the initial introduction, Frankel “works as a counselor, mentor, and guide. When I am setting up a couple, I feel like they are my own kids.”

Frankel believes that the site provides a necessary service to so many in the broader Chabad community. “There are many families where the parents or the singles themselves have recently become religious,” she explains, and are new to the approach and focus that dating takes in an observant environment.“

A lot of people were frustrated that there was no easy, systemized approach to dating,” says Illana Bergovoy, cofounder of the Chicago Shidduch Group. “We had hit a bottleneck.”

The Chicago Shidduch Group operates in conjunction with partner organizations in 25 cities around the world. Participating mothers, fathers, and matchmakers apply a two pronged approach to making matches. Members share profiles on international teleconferences and participate in weekly gatherings of prayer, charity, and study. “We are friends helping friends. I pray for my friends’ children and they in turn pray for mine,” explains Bergovoy. The combination of practical networking and spiritual offerings seems to be working. At least 40 couples have met and married through the group’s efforts.

Zack and Rachel are one such couple. Within minutes after presenting her daughter Rachel’s profile on a June teleconference, Dvora received a message that a matchmaker in Montreal had the perfect match. A flood of phone calls and emails crisscrossed the country before the two 20-somethings met. Engaged less than three months later, they are now planning their wedding.

The resurgence of the modern matchmaker is not only a Jewish phenomenon. Until recently adults were delaying serious commitment, hoping first to win that elusive promotion. But with the current economic situation, many have turned their search away from making partner to looking for a life partner. A recent New York Times article highlighting this trend reasoned that misfortune creates a need for comfort and company. Matchmaking sites and local matchmakers have seen a huge spike in business: the newly unemployed have more time to devote to their personal lives. People feeling the financial crunch are finding that arranged dates are also less expensive than costly blind dates.

Though our global community is no Anatevka, more than 100 years later it’s clear Yenta was on to something